Austin Disc Golf Shuts Down But Ball Golf Continues

Anticipating a great day of outdoor hiking, Ben Rosenfeld went to his favorite disc golf course hoping to revel in the magic of flight that one experiences throwing discs. But Rosenfeld was met with a big sign saying the course was closed due to the Covid 19 shutdown.

“They had plastic bags over the targets and signs saying they are closed. One placard wrote “VIRUS” as the cause at Circle C,” stated Rosenfeld, an amateur disc golfer.

Numerous disc golf enthusiasts and associations colluded with the city and distributed email messages and social media posts that golfers should stay off the courses rather than risk the health of others. “The city originally said go to the courses but do it with social distancing,” stated disc golfer John Ryan. “Circle C, at least, was packed with goobers acting like it was just a big national holiday,” complained Ryan, who is now relegated to practicing his putting in his backyard.

“We gotta keep our relationship with the city leaders and get benefits in regular times, and that means working on a common message,” argued Gordon Kelley, Waterloo Disc Golf Association president for the last 15 years. “The city is threatening to take out the targets. And who knows when they would ever be put back in?”

Meanwhile, affluent guys keep playing ball golf at the public and private courses. “We got the Texas Attorney General to mandate the opening of ball golf courses and Mayor Adler couldn’t do anything about it,” bragged Ed Clemins, Austin radio personality and habitual golfer. “We’re not a bunch of dope-smoking drunks and we know how to stay six feet from each other.”

For years the mostly libertarian-minded disc golfers in Austin have relied on the government to create and maintain the disc golf courses. And to date, they have been unable to create an alternative to being shut down by the liberals they claim to despise.

“See, being dependent on the government makes you weak, and you can't fight back,” bemoaned disc golfer Michael Guenther. “We’re going to go out with our own mobile targets or make a tree the target like when the sport started,” Guenther stated, referring to the beginnings of disc golf in California when the spirit of freedom and creativity actually prevailed, not dependency on chemicals and big brother providing a playground for you.

“Our association got word that at least one course is open. East Manor course can be played by yourself or with family members and people you live with,” stated Gordon Kelley, referring to the partial opening of only a few of the numerous courses around Austin. The feckless leader of the biggest Disc Golf group in Austin proudly proclaimed “We won this one.”